Work/Life Balance: What happens after the Wedding?

I attended a fabulous workshop on the 20th May where we were treated to tea and goodies on arrival and offered the opportunity to chat with Health and Beauty specialists while we waited for the event to start. I took the opportunity to have my hands massaged by the Dermalogica ladies with their anti-aging body products :)

The workshop was hosted by Beyond the Dress, a company that strives to cover topics relevant to the everyday woman - "the mother", "the wife", "the colleague", " the friend" and so many more roles that we need to adopt these days!

The idea for BTD was based on how we focus on our wedding day and the frills and fuss that go with it, but what happens after that, what happens after the wedding dress?

The Work/Life Balance aimed at addressing the challenges many of us face once we get married, Do we keep working? Do we focus on our career? When do we become moms? Do we even become moms? Do we then become stay at home moms? Where is the balance?

The event put together a panel of wonderfully interesting woman:

• Cherie Keating - MD: Dermalogica
• Debora Patta - Executive Producer: 3rd Degree
• Sotse Segoneco - CEO: Sonke Pharmaceuticals
• Andrea Du Plessis - Nutrition expert
• Nikki Bush - Creative parenting expert, speaker and author
• MC'ed by Gisele Wertheim Aymes – Editor: Longetivity Magazine.

The panel of women took the time to bear all - what did it mean to them to be married, divorced, single moms, childless and what were their tips on how to strike that Work/Life Balance we all strive for: 

Here are some tips from the panel courtesy of http://everydaysanskrit.blogspot.com/:

Nikki Bush - Author

• The myth that a superwomen exists is in actual fact a myth. It doesn’t exist and as women we have beating ourselves up trying to live by this “perfect women” image that we have.
• Time is the enemy whether you work or whether you don’t.
• Key is to juggle. Decide what hat you are wearing and what role you are playing and then be present in that moment. Secret is learning the art of presence.  Catch some of the balls and hold onto it, see what's important.
• You don’t have to strive for perfect, just strive for workable and what’s workable for you is unique.
• Children are extremely perceptive, learn from them, they have a 360 degree view of you and are usually very honest. Children tell the truth.
• Whatever you focus on flourishes. Focus on it and it will flourish.
• Being a mother is not self-sacrificial. 
• We have to constantly re-invent ourselves. 
• Have a vision for your life and ask yourself “How do I want my life to feel?”

Andrea Du Plessis - Nutritionist

• Lead a healthy balanced life.
• You are surrounded by a wealth of information and use that to your advantage.
• Identify  tips and guidelines to make your life easy.
• You need to say YES to desire to be fit and healthy. Make time for your physical needs.
• Try not to make other stuff important over exercise.
• You will see a difference in when you change with diet and lifestyle. 

Cherie Keating - MD Dermalogica SA

• At times YOU CAN  and at  times YOU CANT!
• There are times of more balancing vs times of less balancing
• We need to have an acceptance of what balance means for us.
• Its about being resilient. Resilience is being amongst the small waves, the big waves and then at times a Tsunami !
• Don’t be hard on yourself, sometimes getting out if bed is good enough :-)
• Know thyself.
• Stress is a driver, you can have positive stress.
• Have a vision for yourself, how alive do u want to feel? 
• Learn to say NO!
• Take responsibility for yourself as no one else will.
• Surround yourself with great people around you.
• Have some spontaneity, break the mundane routine.

Debora Patta - Executive Producer

• Women started the lie and the myth of the superwomen. It doesn’t exist!
• Decide what fulfils YOU.
• Find something that you love doing? Then you will be close to your balance.
• Technology has done us some favours, but it has made us less presence, we are always on the look out for the flashing red light on the black berry
• Have a tight circle of friends,  see them regularly.
• Keep the proper connections.
• Social media is PR not regular connections.
• Sit down for dinner everyday.
• Our mothers worked but didn't have careers. No one had tested this generation. We didn't plan for this, so it is challenging.
• Diet and  exercise is critical and non-negotiable.
• You can have it all, but not all the same time.
• You should have your kids when you are  older and wiser, Practically things cost money.

Sotse Segoneco - CEO

• Share from your heart and be genuine.
• Try to feel deeply loved, highly favoured and very centred.
• When you were born you had talents and gifts and as we grow we lose sight of them and give in to social norms.
• You can be single by choice, Get rid of someone doesn't carry your vision.
• Strive to make a difference in one’s life.
• Embrace who you are, remember that some can handle you more than others.
• How do you deal with your boss n colleagues, that don't handle their time management?
• Ensure that you can talk to people and teach people to get to know you.
• Don't talk about things without having an action plan.
• Organization is important. 
• Don't be afraid, allow people to tell you of your blind spots as you cant see them.
• Where applicable , Love your staff and treat your staff with respect, pray for you staff and your boss.
• Engage with the people close to you.
• Be open with your mistakes, be wise and practical.
• Don't use things or people to get ahead in life.

Although each of the woman above are all successful in their careers, in no way does it indicate that the choice to dedicate your time to your family and children in wrong, this decision still requires you to find the balance for yourself. However, a stong message in the workshop was that we should always have our own money, with our own bank account. its just something to keep in mind when you are making these decisions, which you surely will someday soon!

 

Thats Me on the right winning a prize :)

Hope you loved the post!

For more information or for the next workshops go to: http://www.beyondthedress.co.za